Shopping in Hell.

Well it’s not really hell but it is shopping none the less. So Dee and i woke about 11′ish had showers then went to grab some breakfast ingrediants from the shop up the road.

-1 block of cheese
-1 jar of jam
-1.25 litres of coke
-1.25 litres of diet coke
-1 newspaper (herald sun)
-1 litre of milk
-1 loaf of bread

20 something dollars later we were on our way, you have to love individual inflation, right?

So loaded with all the goodies to make a champions breakfast we headed on home and eventually into the kitchen.

While Dee got her groove on with the toaster i decided to relax a bit and stretched out in my chair while perusing through the paper.

Sport throws at the other side of the table
the weekend throws

ahhh politics and current events, normally i avoid these sections because well….the world is too damn depressing and it just makes me feel crap. Seeing as i was in a good mood i dived into them with haste. Some wanker moaning about howard having to step down for costello next Some idiot bitching about the issues with the Big brother house next Inflation costs of petrol and how hydrogen fueled cars could be the answer, yes let’s all dirve around in little hydrogen bombs. throws paper

So i went to grab a coffee and make my toast.. glancing at Dee’s plate which was now held two slices of toast with jam on them and cheese laid over the top. At one point i would of thought this was weird but a week before hand i tasted this exact combination and i must say it’s better than it looks and sounds…try it.

Finding the biggest mug we own which Dee refered to as a ‘bucket’ i proceded to fill it with 3 teaspoon’s of coffee and 5 teaspoons of sugar (the winning ratio).

Fast foward

Being as bored and cool as I am I began folding an origami ninja star out of a teared of section of the classifieds, note to anyone who admires paper folding. Newspaper is pathetic and won’t hold your crease lines without flapping about like an 80 yr old’s labia. Feeling i should share the experience with someone i motioned Dee to tear off a section and make a square and follow what i was doing but reverse it…well she messed up the last fold but meh, i did the same when i started.

Feeling confident i figured i’d show Dee how to make a flaping crane.

Step by step we folded:
lengthwise
acrosswise
diagonal
diagonal
open out
diagonal
inverted diagonal - this one is tricky so i had to show her.
flip over
same inverted diagonal..

Several folds later we came to the big kahuna fold and i’ll admit when i first made a flapping crane i had no fucking clue how this fold was supposed to work..well at that point i took over because i think Dee’s patience for my shitty directions were wearing thin.

Fast foward

Tax to train station - direct the driver cos he cant read a map or something.
Wait for train
Listen to Dee’s ipod shuffle in distate at her music collection.. but hey everyone hates my music lol.

fast foward 40 minutes

Arrive at Flinders Street

walk down 2 blocks headed toward the metal store

Like arnold shwazenger and indiana jones i walked into the store with a defined mission of returning with something sacred, like treasure they loomed high over my head in all their black glory on coat hangers standing tall. With sniper like precission i begn glancing over them rejecting those not worthy enough of touching my naked body.

"i really like that cannibal corpse one"
"yeah its nice, i like the thing on the back"
"it looks sorta small though right?"
"yeah it does"
"ill get it down, im feeling lucky"

Stretching high up i tried to grasp the wonderous treasure laiden before my eyes.

"Ergh i cant reach it (standing on tip toes). I’ll have to get the guy to get it down"
Dee looking like she was enduring hell from within waited back while i approached the desk. Two people before me bought some stupid finger rings as i waited for the store worker to attend to me.

"well its been a hard choice but…"
"hold on a sec dude i jsut need to write these down"
"no problems, looks like the shipment was big"
"yeah dude we always buy in bulk in cheaper and the shipping times on this shit sucks"
"yeah i’d imagine"
"so what are you interested in bro?"
"well theres a nice cannibal corpse hoodie back there and a Nile one at the front"
"sure thing dude"

Armed with his trusty piece of wood with a hook affixed to the one end we walked toward the black beauty. Like a champion fisherman he had it hooked and dropped it into my eager hands…that’ll fit easy.

"wheres the other one dude, theres so many"
walking right up to the front of the store with Dee following behind
"Yeah its that Nile one there"
"Sure thing bro, thats a nice choice i like that one myself"
"thanks"

so $195.00 later i was on my way with my new found treasures.

"I’m so stealing that zip-up cannibal corpse one Mat"
"hahaha..u wish babe"

There’s way more to this story but because breakfast took up nearly like 1page alone i’ve decided to cut it short.

my puchases, so you can all drool at their awesomeness:

and