02 Dec
Pelican Cluck Bubble Pop
All those ever considered becoming invisible say “Aye”.
What it is that it is, to be so, is what I am right now. Invisibubble. Reminds me of Hubba Bubba chewing gum, classic strawberry flavour. Or Grape. I once had an Apple Cider flavour which I didn’t want to consume because it tasted so good. So I kept it for years, until it was stale and rock hard, “saving it”. Eventually I flung it at a pelican and didn’t see the bird move again. Ungraceful savages. Granted, I did hit it in the head with an audible “cluck”. Whoever had the idea to drag the remnants of a penguins geriatric oil rag and couple it with a cellulite filled plastic bag? Called it a Pelican. O.o Blegh.
Which brings me full circle to “The Family”. AHOY! We have postponed travels to justify leeching off the government, to the government. Also, because we said we’d be in Broken Hill for Christmas. Notably, we aren’t there yet, because we’re spending time with The Family. Nathan’s Mother loves pelicans. She clucks at them more than she clucks at Blair. The maternal cluck. Never has another persons attempt of genuine empathy made me want to physically vomit, as much as The Mother’s Cluck. (There is a previous entry on this from some time ago.. but I’m too damn lazy to link it here.)
I have some Baileys and Bailey’s Cabernet out there.. wonder if 4pm is too early to start on it.. I mean, it IS a Sunday. No one is allowed alcohol except The Matriarch. She has yet to arrive. (That being Blair’s Great British Grandmother-mightier-than-thou) She audibly complains that she hasn’t cuddled the baby yet. You can’t even hold your glass up and you want to cuddle the what? Ho ho ho… no. Jumping Jahoovers! TO THE INVISIBUBBLE!
SWOOSH!
COMMENCE COUNT DOWN SEQUENCE! fivefourthreetwooneINVISABLE.
“Of COURSE she can have Ice Cream dear.. Salty? Well she isn’t here now is she.. when she gets back we’ll just have to let the ignoramous know how good it is for five month old babies.. yes we will.. we will.. Darling will you stop fondling the baby and let us crowd around closer? Thats the way, completely overwhelm her, thats how they break their spirit in the military.”
Of course the invisibubble is not of my making. It is my metaphorical nook when I arrive here. They shove me in when I arrive. It’s easier for them to cope that way. But it’s difficult to ignore someone in the midst of being castrated for harming my child. Tis a fragile thing.. this bubble. It does not hold me well.
Fuckers.
I made use of the vocabulary today.. ‘Complacent.’ Which is rather apt.. considering.
-Salty Pea
Filed Under: General
